Monday, 27 November 2017


Each one of us expresses our love differently towards others. Here are my thoughts on love, an essence that permeates through a human that makes me question myself as to why it exists.

   What does it mean for someone to fall in love? Is it a feeling? An expression? A choice? Or just mere infatuation? We have been seeing people define love in all sorts of manner. But how do we define love? Is it in a lustful manner? Or showed by just giving stuff or caring about others? A person once asked me about whether I would love a person or to be loved by a person. My thoughts on it were substantially naive, because I would choose neither. If one does not love and want to be loved, it’s rather self-centered and if one wants to love and does not want to be loved, that to me would be a portrayal of self-sacrificial martyr. It cannot be either one. To love is to be loved and to be loved is to love; sometimes we need to incorporate one into the other. If it’s either, the person that is affected by either would desire to love or to be loved by the other who has desired to do.

   I was never good in expressing my love for others; it always turns out to be something that is rather straightforward and maybe cruel to others instead of sugar-coated words or subtle/gentle expressions. I try really hard at times to make it sound gentle but it backfires most of the time. That’s when I decided no matter what I say; it doesn't change the fact that whatever i say would turn against me eventually. But throughout the trials and tribulations I’ve faced, I know one thing’s for sure, there is a love greater than the world's promise of love. 

   Love has always been a mystery to me. As a Christian, God/Jesus has always been an entity of love to me, but not the love the world defines. I’m probably narrowing down the scope of love for now because I've experienced God's love for me. He made certain things happened in my life so i wouldn't be hurt further, even though sometimes I despise Him for making it happen. But my humane level of knowledge only goes so far as He knows better than I do. I get carried away with the emotions that run through me, as though another force is making me do things that I would not do. 

     Sometimes it feels like I caging myself and solidify my heart to whatever love that is shown to me, including God's. I question the fact that why does my being long for something that I can't grab hold of, or if God loves, why does He make things happen so drastically that it changes everything that I hold dear? I can only wonder. I can't say that I know what love is, but to me, I define it as the purest form of caring for a person, to accept the person for who they are and also with the intention that the person would be a better person, not for the love givers sake, but for the loved sake. I might be wrong in terms of my definition and also the very reason why this is a self-expressive article, but that’s for you to decide.

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